Why do women come back to the men that abuse them? Chris literally broke Rihanna’s face in, sending her to the hospital, nearly biting a piece of her ear off. And less than four years later she is saying he is her soul mate again. “It’s different now. We don’t have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about (stuff). We value each other. We know exactly what we have now and don’t want to lose that,” Rihanna tries to explain to Rolling Stones why she would get back with Chris. “For a long time he was really angry, and he felt like he couldn’t get away from it, no matter what he did. But there’s so many reasons why I ever reconsidered having him in my life. He’s not the monster everybody thinks. He’s a good person. He has a fantastic heart. He’s giving and loving. And he’s fun to be around.”
According to the study, Domestic Violence Survivors’ Self-Identified Reasons for Returning to Abusive Relationships, women in abusive relationships create unhealthy attachments to their partner, making it difficult to separate completely from them. And if they have returned to an abusive situation in the past, they are far more likely to continue in one in the future. “Compared to those leaving for the first time, participants with a history of past separations were significantly more likely to indicate that they might return to the batterer because of their continued attachment,” the study said.
Some even argue that the abuse itself that causes the deep attachment, making the victim feel a sense of desire to please the abuser at all cost. Some feel that non abusive relationships aren’t as real because they lack the intensive spikes of emotion. Some just find deep emotional satisfaction in the resolution of an intense fight (the emotions of make-up sex ). But, if Rihanna is as much of a tough, strong woman as she tries to come across as, she should not take this from Chris. It seems that even she can be a victim of the abuse trap.